Relationship counselling may not be for everyone, but far too often it can be discounted as an option when a relationship could use it the most. The idea of going to counselling may seem like your relationship has hit rock bottom or that you have somehow failed your spouse. These feelings, however, are often proven to be incorrect once a couple has actually gone through the relationship therapy process.
Relationship counselling has been the saving grace for many relationships often providing solutions that the couples could not come to on their own. Sometimes it takes the assistance of a neutral third party who is trained to help couples not only identify their issues, but to embrace the change that is necessary to go along with resolving the issues.
So why all the negative stigma around relationship counselling?
When it comes to opening up about problems in a relationship, people can easily tense up and shut down. It’s not easy to first off admit that you need help, and secondly to divulge your deepest feelings in front of a complete stranger. It takes a certain amount of strength and dedication to your partner to attend relationship counselling, but once you do it will be easier to tackle the problems that have held you back in the past. A counsellor can provide you with the tools necessary to really listen to your partner and to feel what they are feeling which in turn can help mend bridges that may have been crumbling within the relationship. A relationship counsellor can also equip you to express your own feelings and communicate your needs and desires in a healthy, constructive way.
When our vehicle breaks down, most of us take our car to a mechanic. When we are not well physically we see a doctor. Or when our computer is not working we may seek out IT support. It is challenging to work with our emotions when it is close to us and when you are in the midst of relationship struggles, it is difficult to see the others perspective. The best surgeon cannot do surgery on themselves. So a therapist can be helpful is working through important issues.
A counsellor can also provide you with a safe space in which to be heard. Sometimes the hectic lifestyle people lead does not easily allow for time to sit and really discuss the root of your problems. With distractions being around every corner in a house it’s very easy to let your issues as a couple go undiscussed and in turn cause the problems in your relationship that brought you to counselling in the first place. Perhaps there are children in the relationship and their presence in the house makes it difficult to have a serious discussion. And perhaps when you do have serious conversations they easily escalate to the point of yelling and hostility, which can be damaging to a young child’s development. Or you try to get your partner to hear you and find yourself stuck because they either speak over your or shut down and things do not get resolved. Removing yourself from your home and willingly placing yourselves in the inviting office of a relationship counsellor is a step towards the direction all relationships truly seek to be in.
Relationship counselling is a healthy way to revitalize your partnership. Discuss and deal with your problems so you can remember what brought you two together in the first place. Every relationship deserves a chance to survive.