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A Few Reasons for Your Intimacy Troubles

Our most desired human emotion is to connect with another. And although this is true, many couples experience intimacy troubles in their relationships even though they love their partner and want the relationship to work out. But for that to happen, you need to uncover the issues and resolve them as soon as possible. Here are a few reasons for your intimacy troubles and what you can do to get your relationship back on track.

Not Knowing Their Values

If you don’t understand your partner’s values and rules, it can lead to intimacy troubles. When people are intimately involved, it’s inevitable that some of their personal, ingrained rules and values are going to clash. If you do something or fail to do something that violates one of your partner’s beliefs, they will likely get upset and erect an emotional barrier affecting your intimacy. So, knowing what your partner’s values are – and being open about yours – is important to avoid any of the challenges.

Lack of Communication

Lack of communication also leads to intimacy troubles in a relationship. When people get upset or frustrated and hold in those emotions, it can grow into resentment. Resentment will begin to destroy the emotion of intimacy, and if not communicated, it can quickly turn into feelings of rejection and repression. You need to communicate clearly and make sure your values and feelings are known to avoid anything being blown out of proportion.

Trust Issues

Being suspicious of your partner when there’s no justifiable reason can quickly dissolve an intimate relationship. Having a lack of trust that is caused by an unfortunate past experience will only ruin your current relationship. Finding a way to heal the past and deeming someone trustworthy until they’ve proven otherwise, is the only way to get a more positive connection with your partner.

Taking Each Other for Granted

Many couples don’t take the time to reinforce their feelings of connection and intimacy with each other. Instead, they end up taking each other for granted, which leads to a decline in intimacy. To get the passion back, you need to reinforce the feelings of attraction and find ways to entice each other by creating new special moments.


For every negative interaction, we need five positive ones to have a fulfilling relationship.  When your partner does the little simple things, like making dinner or picking up something from the store, saying “Thank you” and showing appreciation will draw you closer together and strengthen the bond. These little moments are often the driving factor being satisfying relationships.


Making negative comments about your partner can be a quick way to deflate the intimacy in your relationship. When your partner feels insecure or bad about themselves, it will be reflected in your sex life. To turn this around you need to start focusing and expressing more positive comments that will help boost their self-esteem and make them feel more attractive and wanted.

Addressing your intimacy problems is often easier said than done. If you and your partner are having issues and would like to work through them, talking to a counsellor is an excellent method to get the outcome you desire. At Vaughan Relationship Centre, our professional counsellors can help you with your relationship challenges that have put a damper on your intimacy levels. Contact us to set up an appointment.