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How Can I Move on After Divorce?

A divorce can be a very emotional and overwhelming experience to endure. And after years of marriage, it can be difficult to adjust to being single again. But it’s important to find ways to move on, to focus on you, and to heal the wounds in a healthy way. If you find yourself struggling with moving forward, read on as we provide tips on how you can move on after divorce.


Start with Building Self Esteem

A divorce can take a lot out of you. It can leave you with low self-esteem and self-worth after the process is all said and done. But you can rebuild your self-esteem and start to feel strong and confident again. Perform some small and easy tasks – each success will give you momentum to complete other goals, giving you confidence in your abilities to keep moving forward. Spend time with family and friends, who think highly of you and see yourself through their eyes.  They will help lift your spirits and remind you of the incredible person they know and love.


Do Something for You

Often, when we are grieving or experiencing feelings of loss, we keep busy to take our mind off of the things that are upsetting us. While this behaviour can be beneficial to help push yourself forward, it can lead to burning yourself out. So instead, take time out of your busy schedule to slow down and to do something for yourself every day.  This can be as simple as taking 15 minutes to sit and have a cup of coffee while your kids play in the background to doing a hobby for an hour or two.  Allowing yourself time to relax and enjoy doing what you love can help bring some happiness and joy back into your life during these challenging times.


Begin to Let Go of the Past

Having intense and negative feelings is perfectly normal during and after a divorce. You may have negative feelings towards your partner or grieving the loss of the future you once hoped for.  However, holding on to these negative feelings too long can lead to an unhealthy mindset and potentially destructive habits. To gain a sense of ease, let go of the regrets, self-punishment, and anger. These feelings will only hold you back from enjoying your life.  To move past these upset feelings, talk to a good friend (or therapist) who will listen to you vent and get it out of your system.  Then each day, try to focus on things you can now do without your partner.  Such as seeing people that your partner disapproved of or how your children are no longer exposed to a negative environment.   You can also engage in practices such as yoga and meditation to help you expel negative energy and calm your mind so that you can learn to really let go of the past and focus on rebuilding your future.


Find What Makes You Happy

There’s no better time to focus completely on you than after a divorce. Now you can spend quality time doing what makes you and you alone happy. The fastest way to get back on your feet is to go out and start doing the things you used to love and discover new things that make you happy.


Don’t Rush It

Many divorcees feel rushed to start dating again, perhaps to fill a void or because their friends and family are pressuring them, hoping it will help. But don’t rush it. Listen to your heart and if you feel ready to meet new people then do so.

Figuring out how to move on after a divorce can feel like a bewildering and scary road that you don’t know how to navigate through. But you can get your life back on track after a divorce. Although it can take time to heal, it’s important that you use the time to find what makes you happy and motivated again. If you find that you need some advice or a shoulder to lean on, talk to us at Vaughan Relationship Centre, we are here to help guide you through, so you can learn to navigate back to a place where you can feel happy.

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