• Vaughan Relationship Centre: Counselling to Empower.

Before Covid-19, lockdowns and social distancing, many of our clients were struggling to combat their busy lives and spend time with their loved ones. Since stay at home orders have been introduced, there has been a bit of a shift: many clients are now struggling to break away from their kids and find intimacy with their partners. 

It’s important for couples to find the time and space to reconnect with one other. While it may seem impossible to get any bit of privacy, intimacy should still remain a priority.

Get creative

Lately, proper date nights are feeling like a distant memory, but reconnecting with your partner one-on-one is still important. Wining and dining at your favourite restaurant may not be possible, but with nice weather around the corner, planning a romantic backyard picnic when the kids are asleep allows you to switch things up, keep it exciting and reconnect. If your kids are older and can be left home alone, consider a coffee date in the car. You can catch up and chat with complete privacy. Better yet, come up with a signal or code to connect – one that your kids can’t understand.

Small gestures, big rewards

Intimacy doesn’t have to be grand gestures and physical touch. It can be simple reminders that let your significant other know they are loved. Revert back to the beginning stages of your relationship: get flirty and lovey-dovey with your partner. Send them a loving text message (even if they’re in the other room) or make the time for little hugs and kisses throughout the day. These may be small gestures, but they’re kid-friendly and still let your significant other know you’re thinking of them. 

The art of distraction

Having enough private time away from the kids to be physically intimate with your partner is especially tough with everyone at home. It can seem impossible for the kids to be preoccupied with something long enough to not be disturbed. Try scheduling your moments of intimacy, and something fun for the kids too. Pop some popcorn and create a movie night for the little ones, or set up a recurring Zoom playdate with family friends. You can alternate which set of parents lead the call so you can step away and have your fun, worry-free. Having something in the calendar means you’re more likely to keep it as a commitment, and it will start to become a routine for the two of you and your children. Just make sure your kids aren’t left completely unattended and unsafe.

The past year has required us to change the way we deal with most things in our lives – especially our relationships. Having everyone at home does have its perks. A full home means a full heart with quality family time at a high. But if you’re struggling to connect with your partner and your intimacy is lacking, it may be time for you to seek some outside advice. Reach out to us to learn how we can help!

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